Character VS. Magic Mike

The movie Magic Mike is a big hit with the ladies. But admittedly when I saw parts of it I felt sick to my stomach. I thought, 'is that really what women find attractive? I am none of these things.' I am not nearly as ripped as that dude, I've got body hair that is confronting to say the least and though I would like to think that given a lifetime to learn I could, I can't dance and I am not an exhibitionist. Sure, I can speak eloquently and I have a good sense of humour, but outside of that what do I have to offer? This isn't self-deprecation, just a simple a question how we measure ourselves. By whom and what do we measure off of?
I wonder when the day comes when a woman decides she'd like to be with me will it be because I have changed physically, or whether I will be judged on my whole being and my love for her? The dilemma of men with no magic.


I wrote a post a few days ago about how women in our culture should be encouraged to see themselves as beautiful and not worry about being sexy. As a man I felt it was appropriate to talk about the other side of this. As women typically are sensitive to whether or not people see them as beautiful, men seem to have a similar question.

Where women ask: 'Do I look beautiful?'
Men ask: 'Do I look powerful?'

The honest reaction some men have to that question, though they may never admit it to another soul, is a defeated 'no'. The problem being that they seem to equate physical strength as the only strength that matters. I challenge that idea with another: strength is an attribute of character, not physical aptitude. As it is with women, our culture and advertisements are usually aimed towards a man's most obvious insecurity: his strength.

There seems to be a false correlation made between physical appearance and strength of character. If you see a man overweight in the street, the immediate judgement is to assume he has a character flaw of laziness or cowardice; a weakness.

Hear me right, I have nothing against physical fitness, but I do believe that steroid use, especially in young men, could be connected with this belief.
Think of this scenario, you train harder and harder, every time consistently seeing results and improving your physical appearance then one day those results stop suddenly. You want to get bigger, cut more fat and gain more muscle mass but your body won't go any further in your quest to be more attractive. You start to age, and it's harder to maintain the body you want. Someone offers you a drug that will help you get to the next level or maintain your current one, do you take it?

It seems sometimes we are willing to ignore certain realities to get to the level fantasy when it comes to appearances. Even to the point where the people who matter have absolutely no problem with how we look, we want to take it further to make ourselves feel better. That is insecurity.

Strength is character. Insecurity is a weakness in character. The strength in our character is found in integrity, composure and steadfastness. To find this strength we need to face and master our mortality. Not in the sense that we become reckless thrill-seekers looking for new ways to endanger our lives, but by being purposeful with our limited time on earth.

When our muscles shrivel and our joints cease and we look back upon our lives, what will we see? Will it be self-indulgence and desperate insecurity? Or will we know that we have come into this world and marked it in some way for the better?
The great truth that every man must know about strength is that we were born with it. We were born to endure, to press on and fight. We simply need to turn our eyes inward and find it.

We all have what it takes. Don't settle for a counterfeit strength.