Is it possible I wonder to walk the same path a fifth time, and when you've been burned every other time, come out unscathed?
I wonder this as I find myself doing the things I've always done, making poor choices, misreading signs, seems like this is all too familiar. If you can't depend on your logic, and if you can't depend on your emotions to lead you, what can you depend on?
God.
My strength alone in this is not enough. My friends can't stop me from making mistakes when they are solely mine to make. My heart sees pursuit as the only option and my mind sees that my chances aren't good. But the bible says I need to trust God in all things.
In case you haven't guessed, it's about girl. Truth be told, it's almost always about a girl.
I believe, longing, as in the feeling itself, is not a bad thing, it's natural. It's what you do with it that presents your character. I have treated it lightly before, and paid for it. I know I've grown as a man and a christian, and there's no better situation to test my obedience and trust than this. It is my Achilles heel, and one of the things I've had to conquer.
Generally, at least for me, it comes down to fear and doubt.
Your mind is overwhelmed with questions, and the more advice you get, the harder it is to decide what to do. I've found that they're is one dominant question: PURSUIT or PATIENCE?
From all the love stories I hear from successful marriages and God ordained marriages, either way can work, God uses a lot of ways to bring people together. The problem is being sensitive to God and the situation. No doubt it's hard. Knowing the right time (let alone finding the right woman), is something that requires constant prayer, accountability and discernment.
What can really throw you off is the "what if..."s.
- What if I wait and she falls in love with someone else?
- What if I pursue her and she turns me down?
- What if her friends don't like me?
etc.
One thing I pray you don't do is fantasize. By fantasies I mean imagery or pictures of you and the girl together, smiling, cuddling, whatever. Fantasies are built up dreams of perfect without any of the effort required of a relationship or the commitment. Something that easy and perfect can slip it's way to become the worship of our lives. So you pursue the fantasy... and find that the person is just like you, imperfect.
God should come before any relationship. He should be Numero Uno, with no risk of usurpers. If you feel like a love interest, or something more has become more than God you need to LAY IT DOWN. Lay it down at God's feet, surrender it, because there IS something worse than one person bound... two.
